Until right before I had surgery, I wasn't aware of the period of time everybody lovingly refers to as "Bandster Hell". I was all psyched up for the pouch and the restriction and then I learned the fill didn't come until weeks later. As I was healing, I followed the diet prescribed by my surgeon and nutritionist. As I started eating soft and solid foods, I realized there was virtually NO restriction to be found. At first, I was used to eating very small portions and would be satisfied pretty quickly. But, over the past few weeks, it's almost like I never had surgery. I know I have already mentioned that, but I feel pretty bad about it right now, and I'm here to vent a little just like everybody else. I'm embarrassed to mention specifically what I've eaten in the past few days, so I will just say that I was eating like somebody that appeared not to care about her weight whatsoever. Now it's only 5 days until my fill and I am not mentally prepared at all! I tossed and turned in bed last night and, at one point, I just laid there thinking about the lap band and my fill and how it's going to be/feel. I just really hope I can start to use this tool to its full potential and get my money's worth! I don't plan on toting this supple silicone pal around in my abdomen for nothing, but I wouldn't blame anybody if they said that hadn't been apparent.
Did anybody else go through this? How did you prepare for your fill in the days leading up to it? Did the fill make things better? Please tell me it will... (if it will).
On a more positive note, I did go shopping today and got myself some summer clothes from Old Navy. I got some T-shirts (XL's that are a little fitted right now but will be last longer through the weight loss) and 2 pairs of capris (one size 18 [I had been in a 20!] that are not a perfect fit right now but will be in a few weeks, and since they were on sale and I really liked them, I also bought them in a size 16). I also went to Sunglass Hut and invested in a pair of girly sunglasses. I have a pair of Ray-Ban aviators that James bought me a few years ago before I started flight school and I love them, but they don't go with the dressy sorts of outfits. I have other sunglasses floating around but they are cheap and I don't "take care of them". The glasses I bought today will join my Ray-Bans as "glasses I actually care about" and I will keep them in their case when they aren't on my face.
Retail therapy... gotta love it!
Well... one more thing. I wanted to post a picture from the past... the thinner past. I would LOVE to make it back to this weight even though my goal weight is 150. I was about 165/170 here. This is 4th of July weekend 2008:
Wish me luck!